


The great escape.

by Dandelion_queen



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: AU, Comedy, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Marriage, Shameless Smut, Showmance, Weddings, angsty in parts, faked pregnancy, rock and Roll Tom is go!!, showbiz, tom is having a right time of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4595010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandelion_queen/pseuds/Dandelion_queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I make no apologies. It's purely for fun. Tom discovers a pretty shocking truth on his wedding day.<br/>This one makes me laugh...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Tom knocked back flute of champagne and smiled over to his wife Penny. Four hours in and he knew he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. The gathering of friends and family were enjoying the balmy summer afternoon under a huge gazebo, already his wife was sat with her family whispering and looking like the cat who'd got the cream. None of this was what he wanted but as soon as Penny told him of the pregnancy he'd done the decent thing and proposed. Why? He truly felt at that moment he could make it work. He'd always wanted to be a Father and though it wasn't exactly the right time for him he still felt ecstatic about the baby.

"Just a moment." Tom excused himself from the table and wove through the tables with tight smile on his face. He was miserable and knew no one would understand why.  
It was just an on set fling, the old movie set chemistry but once they'd both been photographed together it blew up into some sort of gossip rag favourite. He wasn't stupid and played the game to an extent as it raised both their profiles but they'd hardly spent much time together in their sixteen months of dating and now here he was..married. Penny was beautiful and her talent was undeniable, Tom had been swept off his feet with her portrayal of his troubled wife but once that set wrapped and the characters were cast off he realised Penny was not so complex. She worked and partied, not that it was a bad thing but it wasn't his thing. He'd been about to call time on them when her 4am phone call had stopped him in his tracks. 

He spied a lady over by a rather tastefully decorated table helping herself to the various delicacies to keep his guests fed and watered. Her dress was a clearly a one off creation that would only work on her and hair was a messy pile of mint green pinned up with a small decorative row of flowers. She chatted to Penny's brother Oliver as they made up their plates before slipping past Tom without a word of congratulations, indeed he wondered if she had even been invited at all.  
"A friend?" Tom asked Oliver, nodding his head to where she'd slipped off.  
"Barely know her old bean. She designed Penny's dress..Marianne I believe." Oliver gave Tom a firm slap on his back and left him stood like a spare part once more.

He went to the bathroom inside the stately building. They'd set up fences and panels to keep the prying lenses of the paparazzi at arms length. Even then they knew certain wedding pics would end up out there, a discreet deal.  
"She's played him like a fiddle man.." Tom recognised Oliver's voice from one of the bathroom cubicles. He wasn't exactly blessed with a gentle tone.  
"Text book is what it is..yah..yah." Tom rubbed his temples as Oliver's grating horsey laugh whinnied in the cubicle.  
"Well he won't be the first one to fall for the old bun in the oven ruse! Hwah!" Oliver chuckled. Tom felt the blood rushing in his ears.  
"Plan? An early miscarriage. No..no she never was that's the thing. Old sympathy votes just in time for Oscar season. However it plays out she comes out smelling like roses, he's stuck." Oliver sounded pretty proud of his sister's manipulation.  
"She's been having it off with Miles...the director fellow yes."  
Tom gripped the rim of the sink and exhaled. The world span at a dizzying pace for him in that moment. He unzipped his trousers and took a long piss in the sink, his reflection showed a man who was done with it all. A quick splash of soap and water and he was ready to do battle.

Tom settled beside his wife and wrapped his arm around her waist. He nuzzled up to her ear and whispered "I know."  
Penny tensed and tugged at his hand as he rose, he snatched his hand away from her grasp and tapped his spoon on the side of a glass. Instantly the chatter ceased and a few whistles of approval happened. All the happy faces looking up to him, his parents and sisters, his oldest friends, a few newer ones and there he was about to shatter the jollity of their day..better that than continue with this sham. Penny looked at him with pleading eyes, no doubt already thinking of a way to work this to her favour.  
He took a steadying breath and stood on his chair, he took the empty glass and held it aloft.

"A toast to Penny! If ever you need wonder of her talent as an actress then look at her now playing the part of the woman in love."  
The smiles froze on a few faces in the crowd.  
"A toast to the woman who says she's carries my child but I have it on good authority that she isn't even pregnant..and how many flutes of champers have you drank today my darling? That's pretty bad for the baby..oh wait! There is no baby!" Tom spat.  
An uncomfortable quiet settled over the tables now. Penny gripped her Mother's hand and dropped her head.  
"Another toast to the fact that even if she was pregnant it would most likely be Miles Greenberg's baby. Yes. He might be sixty years old but he's still capable of knocking 'em out and I don't mean movies. Isn't that right Penny? Still big roles ahead for you." Tom gave her a sarcastic thumbs up and shook his head at her Father's outraged expression.  
"I don't know why you're so angry at me you old fucker, look to your right. Do you really think a beautiful woman like your wife would've looked twice at you if you hadn't been loaded? Christ she is her Mother's daughter if anything! Finally I would just like to apologise to my Mum and Dad for all their help with this sham..you weren't to know. So if you'd all like to err..I dunno..leave? Or no...stay. The day is paid for in any case." Tom jumped off the chair and strode out leaving everyone's mouths slack and his Mother calling after him.  
He passed by Oliver with a cheerful "Thanks." as he went up to his room.  
Oliver looked around at the guests upon entering the gazebo with a puzzled grin "So what did I miss?" he asked.

 

Tom packed up all of Penny's things and left them in suitcases outside of his room. His family came knocking first. He firmly told them he wasn't coming down and he'd every intention of annulling the marriage and had already applied for the nullity petition within minutes of coming back up to his room. His mind was made up and they all knew him well enough to know he wouldn't change it.  
A strange relief washed over him. It might sting that he'd been duped but in all honesty it would've been tougher to be married to someone who you didn't love and indeed who didn't love you. He'd seen a close friend find himself in a marriage much that way except they'd had a child.  
He could move on, that weight had lifted from the minute he'd gave his speech. Tom lay on the bed looking at the ceiling for a few hours.  
Downstairs the soft vibration of music had him up off the bed and on his feet.  
"Fuck it! This is my wedding day!" he laughed and he decided to brave it downstairs. He opened his door and saw the suitcases had disappeared.  
"Not even a goodbye." he found it slightly more amusing than he could admit.

The shindig had gone into full blown party mode now, all the families with their little page boys or flower-girls had left. All those who remained were good and merry, yelling requests out to the DJ. Women danced barefoot on the confetti strewed dance floor and his friends had their bow ties askew and their jackets shucked off.  
He was grappled by a few friends and found himself tumbling to the floor in hysterics as they hugged him.  
"It'll be alright."  
"You're well shot of her."  
"Let's get you a drink!"  
And so Tom let them fuss him and offer their views. He was taking it well they told him..he wondered if that was true.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shenanigans with The freshly single Tom. Will he score with Marianne?

Tom got disgracefully drunk. The next hour was a blur of dancing and whiskey and then he saw her.  
Minty haired Marianne.  
She was dancing away to Metallica of all things..whoever had requested that old gem?  
Tom sidled up to her and took her hand, it got truly messy within minutes between them.  
"You never offered me congratulations earlier." he half shouted over the music.  
"You don't tend to offer a congratulations to a man who looked like he was going to the gallows." She span around him.  
"Ouch!" Tom replied.  
"Pardon, let me phrase it a little better. You don't tend to wave at the Cap'n when he's sinking with his ship." Marianne said with a smirk.  
She slipped away to the bar while he made his puppy eyes.  
"Moving on swift eh Tom?" called out one of his friends.  
Tom flicked the v's at his friend discreetly.  
He currently couldn't give a shit what anyone thought of him.

"Allow me to buy you a drink." Tom placed his hand over Marianne's as she waited on the busy bar staff.  
"You already did, it's a free bar." Marianne explained.  
Tom had clearly forgotten about all the little things Penny had included in the wedding, many a time he'd switched off and nodded mutely to anything that concerned the big day.  
"Really? Jesus..all day? There's been like 200 guests." he spluttered. No wonder it was so debauched, all good reason goes out the window with a free bar.  
"All day." Marianne shrugged with a smile.  
"Fuckin' hell." Tom groaned, this day had set him back a lot of money.  
"Chin up, it could be worse." Marianne gave his hand a pat.  
"That's true." he agreed.  
Raucous laughter was heard as the DJ span Billy Idol's 'white wedding'. Tom groaned at his mates poor attempt at humour.  
"That's me done..it might sound a little forward bit would you care to join me?" he asked.  
"Go on then." Marianne offered him her arm and let Tom escort her up to his room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tell me again, you're an intelligent man..how do you get pressured into all that sort of thing?" Marianne was genuinely curious and Tom's embarrassed half-hearted replies weren't cutting it.  
"I dunno, it's a competitive out there. You have to stay relevant, y'know the power couple thing is very in now. Being married..well how many can you name who marry just in time for certain events? I mean not being a dick but it keeps your name out there." Tom took a hearty swig of his whiskey directly from the bottle.  
"It's terribly sad that anyone feels the need to do that. You actors are a strange lot." Marianne took the rizla's out of her purse and began rolling up.  
"Strange?" Tom asked.  
"No, strange is the wrong word. Needy perhaps? I mean it takes a special sort of individual to crave all that palaver, fans and lapping up the applause or what have you." Marianne hung out of the window and sparked up her smoke.

Tom took a moment to allow her words to sink in, he felt insulted. He got to his feet and stood behind her, Marianne's skirt had ridden up quite high and he got a decent eyeful of her knickers.  
"Well you know us luvvies dear, we feed on the adoration of our people." Tom sassed.  
"Ha! Too right. You know I can deal with most singers and musicians when they want a piece designing but actors? They kick up the biggest fuss and then I get to see them acting all humble on the red carpet, it's so fucking funny don't you think?" She took a drag on her smoke, clearly finding it all so very amusing.

Tom rubbed his palms together and lined his hand up to her arse.  
"Extremely funny, yes to do a job that takes months and rips you from one place to the next. To have to worry about being photographed when I'm out, to have people show up at my house declaring they love me. It's so very funny!" Tom seethed.  
"Easy there teddy bear, you get to travel. You have your dream job which is more than most get to do. Plus..you're connected innit? I doubt most actors get the doors opening like you lot do." Marianne said coolly.  
"You lot." Tom repeated. He knew what she was getting at, to her he was one of "them."  
The privately educated and well connected. He'd had it thrown at him as his fame had grown, finding himself lumped in with a few other British actors who seemed to get all the choice roles, all of them labelled with a word he hated. The P word..  
He brought his hand down on her arse causing her to give a startled yelp.

Marianne's smoke flew out of her mouth, her eyes went wide with shock at what had just happened. She attempted to wriggle her upper body back in but found herself receiving another firm smack on her arse. Eventually she manoeuvred herself in and turned around, Tom received a smack in the face with her purse.  
"How dare you!" Marianne hissed at him.  
"Please love, you hang out the window with your arse on display and slag me off." Tom spat.  
"I did no such thing! I was having a smoke and not once did I slag you off did I? Oh so I took a dig at a few peers of yours, nothing personal in it." Marianne smoothed her dress down and barged past him.  
"It certainly felt personal!" Tom shouted.  
"Get over yourself! You and that big fucking ego..you're so used to it being easy. I bet you thought you'd get me up here and I drop my knickers like that." Marianne clicked her fingers for emphasis.  
"Well the thought did cross my mind yeah.." Tom snapped.  
"Poor little rich boy!" Marianne taunted and she yanked the door open and was gone.  
Tom stood in a daze, drunken and stupidly half in love.  
She reminded him of a fairy, all green haired and red lipped. He couldn't let her go like that...

He ran. Sprinting down the corridor, he spied her exiting through the main hall doors and out to where the panels had been placed to stop any sneaky unofficial wedding photos being taken. This was risky territory now, any number of paparazzi could be hiding in the trees angling for that exclusive shot.  
"Marianne wait!" he called to her. She was tapping furiously at her phone and ducked behind a water fountain.  
"Look I can see you hiding, please?" He held his hands up.  
"What?" she huffed.  
"For what it's worth I'm sorry for..for spanking you ok? It was out of order and I apologise sincerely for that." Tom offered. "I've had a very strange day in all honesty and I'm not myself."  
Marianne felt a little sorry for him, it had been a most humiliating scene to watch play out. To find out your wife was getting dicked off a Hollywood big shot while lying about being pregnant was quite a lot for anyone to take in.  
"Apology accepted now kiss me." she stood in plain view of Tom.  
"Pardon?" he felt like he was being pranked.  
"You want to send a message out to Miss Snooty Kecks? Kiss me." Marianne repeated.  
It clicked, he knew this would be seen. It'd make for some scandalous tabloid fodder and show Penny he was truly done with her.

His hands wound about her waist and their lips met...


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Marianne have a moment in a long patch of grass. ;)  
> I went down the sappy ever after route. Enjoy!

Marianne moved closer to him, his hands roamed a little lower groping her arse. Tom explored her mouth and moaned at her responsiveness. She kissed him so hard, their lips felt bruised when they broke apart. They both stayed for a second with their foreheads touching.   
Tom knew without a shadow of a doubt they would've been photographed by now. They could almost smell the fires of the media meltdown that would hit in mere hours and grinned.   
"Nicely done." Marianne breathed, her pupils blown wide.  
"Give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle." he managed, just about getting himself together.  
He wanted to fuck her right here on the floor. He could just lay her on the grass and go at it hard. Common sense told him the kiss was all he'd get.  
"Fuck it..come on." she grabbed his hand and pulled him along to where a neat row of hedges began, she pushed open a gate and they disappeared from the view of prying eyes.

The grass grew longer and once satisfied they'd be undiscovered they fell upon one another in the ticklish blades of grass. Sweaty and champagne fuelled they pulled at each others haute couture with animal abandon. Tom found his shirt literally tore off his lean frame and her teeth nipping at his chest.   
Their lips met again, she tasted like summer rain...and weed.  
He'd barely got his cock free from his trousers before he was inside her with one fluid thrust.   
Again and again his hips thrust, a hungry rhythm building between them both. This was out of control and everything he wanted. The heat suffused their bodies as they kissed swallowing each other's moans of delight, Marianne arched her back up into him and came wildly, her passion violent and untameable. Tom followed her and found himself surrendering to his release in a way he never had before, it was earth shattering as he came inside Marianne. Something way deeper than a casual fuck had happened here and they both found themselves suddenly shy of what it was.

"My god." Tom gasped as he rolled on to his back. "I saw stars."  
"We better go back inside." Marianne adjusted her ruined dress, he hair had fallen around her shoulders and the neat rose pins now hung in her hair at random.  
"You look like a fairy queen." Tom spoke softly as his fingers wound a lock of her minty hair around.  
"Thank you, I was going for the Pastel goth mixed with punk look but I'll take fairy queen." she blushed.  
The way Tom was looking at her gave her butterflies.  
"Come on, it's cold out here." Marianne stood up and pulled him to his feet, he slipped his torn shirt and stained jacket back on, leaving the tie and cuff links his soon-to-be ex wife had chosen for him on the ground.  
He took Marianne's hand, the green haired woman who'd hit him with her purse, the woman who already had a good idea about him before he'd even spoke, the woman he knew he could never turn away from again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years later.

"Keep walking, head high, head high there Mrs Hiddleston." Tom whispered out of the corner of his mouth.  
"I know how to fucking walk Tom." Marianne muttered back.  
"I'm just saying they can smell fear!" he grinned mischievously.  
They made their way down the red carpet and smiled graciously at the crowd.  
"Meet you inside, go sign their stuff. They'll have been waiting for hours." Marianne gave him a quick peck and dropped his hand. She drifted away to let him go be Tom for a while.  
In the seating area Marianne spied Penny with her sister Ashleigh, she was a well known fashion designer and you couldn't half tell. Sunglasses on indoors, ashy pallor, sucked in pout.  
She'd always put Marianne to mind of a Death Eater from the Harry Potter films, a photo of Ashleigh and Karl Lagerfeld had reduced Marianne and a friend to hysterical laughter once.   
A smack on her arse made her jump before two long familiar arms encircled her from behind.  
"You sod!" Marianne tutted.  
"Come on, let's get this over with Minty. Sooner we're done sooner we can get you home and get your feet up." Tom stroked his hand over Marianne's burgeoning bump.  
It earned them a withering look off Penny.  
"She's not looking too good these days is she?" Marianne whispered.  
"She rattles like a pill dispenser, well so I heard." Tom spoke loud enough for Penny to hear.  
"Don't." Marianne warned him. They'd been in the papers a lot since Tom and Penny's wedding went tits up and she didn't want a repeat performance of back then.  
The paparazzi had followed them everywhere for weeks till inevitably it was some other poor fuckers turn in the spotlight.  
They were able to get married in Rome without a big fuss a few months ago. The idyllic few weeks that followed had been wonderful...and then Marianne had thrown up.

Tom had been on cloud nine ever since that morning of continuous heaving and grumbling from Marianne.  
"Shall we get a burger on the way home?" he asked her.  
"Ooh yes can I get extra..." Marianne began.  
"Gherkins." Tom finished.  
"Talk dirty to me..." She whispered.  
"And fries with a big banana milkshake." Tom put on his sexy voice.  
"Oh baby!" Marianne giggled taking his hand.  
"I know what mama likes." Tom teased.  
"Let's get this done and then we can ditch." Marianne smiled at him.  
"All that food talk has made me hungry." Tom groaned.  
"I'll take your mind off that when the lights go down." Marianne's smirk held a whisper of unmistakable naughtiness.  
They took their seats and waited....


End file.
